Everyone Loves Me That's why it Burns When I Pee

1. A new trackball for the computer


2. Two handcrank flash lights.


3. Bar-b-que brush.


4. Tire Cleaner.


5. More Ant Killer.

Now I just need someone to clean the bar-b-que, clean my tires, kill some ants, and crank my lights.

 

Today was the Emergency Response Team training.
Up at 5 am to go to the fire station and sit in a class room for 5 hours.
Four cups of coffee later I woke up. I know everything you don't want to know about fire suppression systems.. *yawn*
They entertained us with such brain teasers as:

1. You have two coins that total 30 cents, and one is not a quarter. What are the coins that you have? A Nickle and a Quarter.. the nickle is not a quarter
   
2. A Cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays 3 days and leaves on Friday.. how's this possible? His horse is named Friday.
   
3. What weighs more a pound of feathers, or a pound of gold? A pound is a Pound.. they weigh the same...
   

Etc..Etc... there were more.. I'll spare you.
Then we went out and did the physical lessons.. Confined spaces rescue, Chemical spill clean up, fire extinguisher use, Fire Hose techniques, Bomb/Suspicious package search, and Trench rescues..
Then it was the annual Plug and Dyke competition to build the best water retention system.. Fun!
The pizza lunch was Superb for being free..
My favorite part was the drive home in rush hour. And they pay me for this.. Score!

Rich and Steve decided to lower the boat motor.

Even after lowering the motor they couldn't resist coming around the fire.

There was a fire burning all weekend long.

I kept my feet warm at Tanyas fire.

The cold weather and alcohol left people sleeping,

or drinking by the fire.

In some cases it's sleeping by the fire.

Or dressing in a Parka.

Either way we stayed up late.

The End.

---

Actually this blog was just away for me to test a different way of posting pictures.. but enjoy it anyways.

Oh yes, these steaks were so heavy it took James TWO hands to lift it.

That steak looks like little pants.. meat pants.

Look at these beautiful bloody meat curtains.

They make people giddy.. women swooned when they saw the meat.

The Steak was thicker then a Canadian Quarter. That's like 3cm thick.

James cracked open the tray of meat and rubbed it with some seasoning. We then wrapped the Three pounds of steak in a pound of bacon to make it so delicious.

Jay built this nice new Bar-B-Que and left so we decided to break her in with our huge meat.

I know Jay fooled around with his little steaks on her but we really popped her cherry..

Look at all that bacon, The drippings the flavour the bloody steak.. Yay... it was so Exciting.

James Can't get over how much beef, and bacon there was.. Don't worry vegetarians, we sauteed up some onions, and I boiled up some mushrooms as a vegetable..

close up.. It makes me salivate just looking at it.

So Succulent, and tender.. It was also so filling..

I love dead cows.

Today's the day...
I'm off to the trailer park until Monday.
I'm definately going up.. right after I pack and go to the bank and canadian tire...
Once I finish all the things I should have done yesterday.
So I should be leaving here around.. 2, or 3 pm

REMEMBER LADIES: This will be a sausage fest weekend. So If you have no sausage please come up.. We definatly don't want a repeat of easter weekend.

A Taco Weekend would be much better.
I'm hungry now. I think it's time to cook up some pizza pops for breakfast.

Here's what I ought to do Today:

1. get out of bed
   
2. shower
   
3. stop watching the movie Real genius, A cheesy 1985 movie starring Val Kilmer and some guy with big teeth.
   
4. finish doing laundry
   
5. go to bank.. Royal Bank is crap... aaargh
   
6. pack for the trailer
   
7. eat
   
8. watch lost
   
9. get dressed
   
10. nap
    

I hope I have enough time today
I may not do these Items in order.. I think I may start with number 10.

T was previously stabbed and bled all over my kitchen table.

Crazy Carl escaped and hid away from the authorities.

Crazy Carl hid among the sink things. He eluded the cops in his Punk Rock Shrimp hat while hiding out for the murder of T.

T was frozen until the cure for deep stab wounds was found.

T was thawed by exposing him to Gamma rays. The radiation made him glow.

Flip T over and thaw the other side. I think I smell burning turtle.

A warm shower warmed him up nicely. T kept saying "No Golden Showers.. It's a stab wound not a Jelly Fish sting."

All that water made T a bit bloated. I figure an night on the drying rack will drain him alright and he'll be good to go.

This should go over well with HR who runs the FireBall event at work.

 But who doesn't  like Ron Jeremy. 

Since no one plays Charades I received the rules in an email.

There are not many rules for Charades, without using words or sounds you simply have to get someone on your team to say a name or phrase. The answers in our game have been selected so that the tips below are not necessary to play or win but they give some idea of the short cuts a team could develop and rehearse to gain an edge.

o Number of words in the title: Hold up the number of fingers.

o Which word you're working on: Hold up the number of fingers again.

o Number of syllables in the word: Lay the number of fingers on your arm.

o Which syllable you're working on: Lay the number of fingers on your arm again.

o Length of word: Make a "little" or "big" sign as if you were measuring a fish.

o "The entire concept:" sweep your arms through the air.

o "On the nose" (i.e., someone has made a correct guess): point at your nose with one hand, while pointing at the person with your other hand.

o "Sounds like": Cup one hand behind an ear.

o "Longer version of :" Pretend to stretch a piece of elastic.

o "Shorter version of:" Do a "karate chop" with your hand

o "Plural": link your little fingers.

o "Past tense": wave your hand over your shoulder toward your back.

o A letter of the alphabet: move your hand in a chopping motion toward your arm (near the top of your forearm if the letter is near the beginning of the alphabet, and near the bottom of your arm if the letter is near the end of the alphabet).

I'll keep you updated on how badly we lose.. or perhaps win?.. since we aren't cheating this year..

We've practiced twice already and we suck.

But we'll suck better then the other teams..

Gooooooo.... (Elemental wonder of a disappointing mind sitting on the verge of catastrophic failure) times Six...

Rah Rah Raw

wish us luck

---

UPDATE:  MAY 2

After a heated battle of gesturing wildly, our team finished Second place.  We really didn't deserve to win since as the members acted out the clue they would also say the clue out loud.

We did finish first place for the best costumes.  Of course we were the only team in costumes.  Our prize was a t-shirt.  One for everyone.

Thanks goes out to my team mates:

• 
  
  Gulshan


• 
  
  Denise (who supplied the costumes)


• 
  
  Naieem


• 
  
  Ven


• 
  
  Nigel (who designed the logo)

 

If anyone wants the four foot logo poster, with a confused Ron Jeremy that management LOVED, come get it.

Or send me your address.  No guaranties i won't show up on your door step though.