Everyone Loves Me That's why it Burns When I Pee

Yesterday Afternoon I came in from planting grass seed. I saw a grisly scene taking place in the kitchen.. T's crazy cousin Carl came to visit.. and when he was asked what he would like for lunch Crazy Carl Said "Turtle Soup"

Lucky for Carl he didn't get blood on the Sudoku! Carl's pretty strong to stab through that turtle shell with such a dull knife.

Carl stood back for a bit to admire his handy work, and to taste T's blood..

Crazy Carl's going to get salmonella.

Carl, seeing me there, decided to show his love for his cousin.

I guess he fancied more then a bowl of turtle soup.

# posted by scar_al @ 3:54 PM 0 comments

Nope. It was just a Tree Rat.. 

 I name him squishy the squirrel

He lived for nuts.. He lived life on the edge.. dodging traffic.

jumping from branch to branch

running accross dog filled yards.

Struck down in his prime.. by a hyundai.

# posted by scar_al @ 4:06 PM 0 comments

I got home from Work this morning...

I climb into Bed.. and the dog starts barking...

It turns out the mail man came early.

And he brought me a Box

My Box.. Addressed to ME, from Chella.

I opened it up andi initially saw garbage. 

I can handle plastic bags though.

Used tampons would have been another story.. yuck.

Other treats in the box were Beef Jerky.. I mean Moose Jerky, and My paper Crane. 

I names him Fraiser... as in Doctor Fraiser Crane

In the box was Moose Meat.

Big Chief Original Jerky.  Alberta Fancy Sausage LTD., Calgary

with the URL WWW.Bigchiefbeefjerky.com

Chopped and formed.. they make it sound so tasty. 

I Pulled out my bird and played with it for minutes upon minutes.  I love playing with my bird.

Caw Caw it says.. It looked bigger in Chellas pictures.

Mmmm Greasy moose meat.  The thought crossed my mind that Chella is crazy and could have easily poisened me.  If I don't blog for awhile call the cops.. I'm probably dead.

I sniffed the crane.. It smelled like Cabbage.  Probably because it was handled by Michelle.

Thanks Chella, Thanks for making me a chain paper Crane, and sending me mad cow jerky.. yum.

Next time you're in toronto you're getting drunk.. on me.

# posted by scar_al @ 10:09 AM 0 comments

la cops off road over the hills .  Out of frame is an under cover car with another 5 guys being questioned.

The cops hassle the dealers...

These guys are respectable citizens.. according to their mothers.  The cops are probably confiscating grass.

 I'm told cow Manure burns grass... but it's spread out now..

poo.  fun to say, fun to do.

 Look at my sprouts of grass... As it gets taller I will add more dirt and seed.

 The grass is too tall in areas.

I've blocked off the areas scooby runs to protect my precious grass buds.

I spread my seed like a man hoe.

I even bought a new spreader.

Please do not case all the crap in the garage.

 Here is all the yard waste from last week... bags 6 through 12.

It took Melissa 6 hours to cut down the sticks and bag them as Jack and I went driving.

You suckers just read about grass...

Of course I go out and look at it's growing progress.  

I won't tell you how many hundreds of dollars it costs to create this grass master piece. 

But if it doesn't work I'm going to plant Moss next year. 

Green and fuzzy.. grows on rocks.. perfect.

# posted by scar_al @ 10:11 AM 0 comments

Jack got up there Saturday and raked up most of the leaves. 

The rake broke in my hands as I diid the Lawn...

I think it broke out of fear of being in my manly grip.

The Golf Cart seems to have survived the winter.

The Smoke got to Dean...

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit 

 "Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank..."  Don't smash it again.

The question of the weekend seemed to be "Where the Hoes at?"

Ryan didn't bring the hoes.

Lucky Chris found something else to keep him warm.

In other weekend news:

1. 
   
   I got a speeding ticket on the way to Tim Hortons


2. 
   
   I was allegedly doing 125kph in an 80


3. 
   
   the cops name was Ham.. I ain't making it up.


4. 
   
   Pointts is expensive.


5. 
   
   Tickets may not stop me from speeding.


6. 
   
   I found a plastic tug boat.  I forgot to take a picture.

# posted by scar_al @ 4:17 PM 0 comments

Easter at the Trailer Park..

Need directions or a ride???

just ask...  I got beds too.

Watch out for the creepy Easter Bunny..

Notice as he fondles DR. Mandy

# posted by scar_al @ 1:17 AM 0 comments